Archive for March 25th, 2007
Weighing One’s Words
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
(Ephesians 4:29)
This verse from Ephesians is cited in support of avoiding profane language, as referenced by the Confession of Faith. But as a spiritual director I take from it a different message. “Unwholesome talk” would be defined as words and advice that does not uphold the special relationship that directors are supposed to encourage between God and the directee. This relationship rests on the integrity and insight of the director, and impacts the directee. The director-directee relationship is to do exactly what this verse says, build up the directee according to his or her needs. Words that mislead, abuse, degrade or insult (just to name a few ways to “sin” against God and/or the directee) violate the sacred trust that is foundational.
But there is a further learning to be taken from this verse. Not only must the words used in the conversation between director and directee build up the directee, must they must also benefit the directee. The task of spiritual direction is not to heap laurels and accolades in the directee, but to advise them and help them to discern for themselves what is best to do in the light of God’s teaching and Christ’s example. Directees listen to directors, and trust them with some of the deepest truths in their lives. If the director is not careful to weigh his or her words wisely ever mindful of God’s inspiration, irreparable harm can be done, both to the directee and the relationship to God.
While I appreciate that the Confession of Faith speaks to the avoidance of profane language, I cannot help but think that Paul was talking about more than curse words. And I hope my brief explanation of spiritual direction has opened up this very important verse. While there are many passages and verses in the Bible that speak to the task of spiritual direction, this verse seems to convey an important aspect that is at the heart of spiritual direction.
