Family, Singleness and Marriage – Finding the bone and flesh that makes you whole

“The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:23-25)

I have heard it said there is one particular spouse for each person, and supposedly each of us is to find that certain and be joined/married only to that person. Well, of course, this raises a whole host of problems from people who’s gender/sexual orientation is not accepted to people who marry/partner several times. I used to believe that there was one specific person for each of us, and then worried that I would not find “the one.” Then I decided that it is more important to be the right person (that is, to be the best person you can be) rather than find the right person. My thinking now is that finding someone to partner with you throughout your life where you are supportive of them and they of you. Each of us needs and desires different things out of life, and successful marriages are not based so much on compatibility as on the desire to form a bond that is intended to last your entire life span. And that is not any easy bond to find, make, or last for 50 years or more.

The Confession uses this verse to affirm that “Scripture places sexual intimacy within God’s good created order.” It goes on to place sexual intimacy within the bonds of marriage. Again, these assumptions, while fine and good for some circumstances, can lead to problems with intolerance, prejudice and judgmental attitudes. If people would only stop a moment and listen to the intent & spirit of these verses instead of getting caught up in the legalistic definitions, I think society would be more at peace.

Listen; two people find each other, and decide that they want to journey through life together, supporting each other and being there for one another. They find a place where they can be together and nurture each other, relying only on each other. They delight both the similarities and differences of one another. Through conversation and physical & emotional intimacy they bring pleasure and joy to one another, and receive pleasure and joy. They come to know each other so well, that nothing has to be hidden from each other, and there is no embarrassment in revealing their deepest secrets to one another. They promise each other this relationship will last their whole lives, and they commit their entire selves to maintaining the beauty and strength of the relationship.

Is this not what we desire for ourselves? Is this not what God desires for creation? Why then do we judge others when they have found this? And why would one prevent people from entering into this type of relationship?

It can be lonely being on your own. Some people can live their lives with having relationships that are less intense than I have described – some by choice and others by circumstances. I hope gentle reader you have found someone to journey through life with, either as daily partners or ongoing friendships. I pray that God blesses and watches over your relationships and the people you relate to. Selah!

About Carole Boshart

I have blog called "Pondering From the Pacific" and it is based on my reflections on the world - sometimes religious/spiritual, and sometimes not so much. Some days roll along smoothly and some days are like rocky shale. But always I cling to my faith . . . . and my sense of humor!

2 thoughts on “Family, Singleness and Marriage – Finding the bone and flesh that makes you whole

  1. Elva Evers says:

    I am disappointed to see that you have linked the homosexual issue with the scripture from Exodus. The scripture talks about “man” and “woman”. It doesn’t talk about “man” and “man” OR “woman” and “woman”. Scripture definitely says the homosexual life style is a sin an such people will not enter heaven. Sexual intimacy IS to be between one man AND one woman. Society wants all people to be accepted into heaven but the Bible doesn’t say that. Homosexuals are to be treated as humans but their lifestyle is NOT acceptable. EE


    • Carole Boshart says:

      You have raised many issues, and I thank you for you comments. First, the scripture passage is from Genesis, not Exodus; although the Confession does make use of scripture from Exodus for this article also. I am not the first, nor will I be the last I am sure, to link this Genesis passage (and others like it) with issues of homosexuality and heterosexuality. This passage also touches on fidelity in marriage – if fidelity is not maintained does that mean more than one person can “complete you”? And how can we determine for another person who will complete him or her? This passage, at its most basic, talks about the recognition of something or someone that is out side of one’s self, but feels like it belongs to that which is other. That is why to the two leave what was their origins and start anew, just the two of them. And actually, sexual intimacy may not necessarily be a part of that.
      You are right, many people want many things to be acceptable according to Heaven and accepted in Heaven. But ours is not the place to judge what Heaven will accept, but to live good and Christian lives. Scripture actually says very little about the lifestyle of homosexuals as it is known and practiced now. It says a great deal about abuses found in society during the years of the Bible, especially of people (young, old, powerless, marginal) who are unable to protect themselves.
      There is a great deal in society that we as Christians should be ashamed of – but there is also great compassion and caring. There will always be people who critique what other people do, on issues that are as diverse as the whole human experience. While I may have my own way of conducting my life according my faith and theological traditions , I also want to remain open to hearing from others – all others – as to who they are, what they believe, and how they live their lives. I intentionally write to maintain that openness, finding evidence of God wherever it may be. Shalom.


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