“O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue, O Lord, you know it completely.” (Psalm 139:1- 4)
The last few days have been complicated days. Changes may be coming. There have been so many changes in the past that I am not sure I am ready for more. Yes, I do need some things to change. And until I know what the changes are, and how they will affect me, I am just not ready to talk about them yet. That is why these verses are so good for me today and in the days to come. I don’t need to explain to God and the Divine how I am feeling, why I am feeling; God knows me without me having to say/pray anything!
“You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.” (Verse 5)
The Message translate this verse as God being all around, and not being a suffocating presence. It means to me that whatever is ahead – God is there. Whatever is in the past – God was there. And God is with me in the present – even now!
“Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is so high that I cannot attain it. (Verse 6)
Now this is where I part ways with the psalmist, unless the psalmist is taking poet license. I would expect no less than “such knowledge” from the Divine. This is am important aspect of the God I believe in, that this God is capable of such things and deems everyone worthy of such gentle attention.
“For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; that I know very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed.” (Verses 13- 16)
It comforts me too that all of my days were known before I existed – at least to God. When I am unsure of what is ahead, and not sure if I have done things correctly in the days that are past – it is God to know that God knew all about them. I may have not been all that I could or should have been, but I was known by God. And even through my missteps and mistakes, God was there. And where God is, so is love.
“How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
I try to count them—they are more than the sand; I come to the end—I am still with you. “ (Verses 17 -18)
When I think I have done all that I can do – that my energy is exhausted and I want to give up – God sustains me and renews me, and gives me hope. I do not have to really on my own strength, and do not have to fear when my strength runs out. I rest in God, and the Lord renews me.
May you beloved reader allow the Lord God to search you, because the Divine knows you already. To do not fear that, but depend on that. That the Lord God knows you in all the ways that you can be know, and loves you with all the love that is within the Divine. Selah!